Week 4! Home Stretch!

Its hard to believe that this is the start of week 4 of my Shakeology and Turbofire challenge. The last part of last week was really rough for me. I had a big (well I think it was big) life change happen and all I wanted to do was crawl into a hole and hide. I didn't realize just how much your emotions can affect you. I was thisclose to diving head first into a tub of ice cream and a box of twinkies. I went through the what if's, I should have, could have's, seriously I was a wreck. My work out that night I was bawling. I think it was because I had just let go of so much emotion and had channeled it in a healthy way instead of sabotaging the shit out of myself. Honestly I can't even tell you how hard it was for me not to take a nose dive off of that emotional cliff and just say screw it. The OLD me would have done it.. I'm really glad that I didn't. 

With that being said this last weekend was my birthday. I turned 35 on Sunday. I ate mostly healthy but I did have a cupcake or two on Saturday night during my birthday dinner and a slice of pizza and some cheesy bread on Sunday with the littlest monster. I didn't work out on Friday but did Saturday and just got home way too late on Sunday to even bother with it. I was worried this morning that I had set myself back but much to my surprise I hadn't.. My waist is still the same but I'm down another inch in the hips and 2 inches I think in the thighs! Can we say happy dance?? Yeah... that totally happened.. 

Tonight I picked up a few groceries and needed a few new sports bras (almost giving myself a black eye is really not fun) and a shirt that was on sale. All three are size Mediums! I haven't bought anything that was a size medium for 2 years. I realized over the weekend that people are noticing which is a great boost. 

the pic on the left is tonight 2/25 and the one on the right is from 2/2

So there's my progress so far.. sadly clothes aren't the same in both photos but what's important is now I can SEE the difference.. I know I've said this before but I'm really excited to see what the next several months are going to bring especially with summer coming! I almost had an anxiety attack when I walked into Target tonight and saw all the damn swimsuits just hanging out and mocking me.. I literally stopped turned around facing the doors and almost walked out. I may never wear a bikini again but I realized its not about that. Its about how I feel in the clothes (or swimsuit) I have and not stressing out about what other people think. I'm going to just conquer it. Come June I'll be hopefully several sizes smaller and won't be walking around the pool sucking in my gut and covering up my flabby booty. LMAO. 

Ok! Time to wrap this up.. I kind of feel like I rambled a bit (SORRY!) and well I stink so a shower is in order. I hope that those of you who read this and are in the middle or just starting out in your journey are having a good week and are continuing to push yourselves. 

Till next time kids!

Shakeology and Turbo Fire Update!

I thought I would update you all on the last few weeks. Yesterday marked the beginning of week 3 of Shakeology and Turbo Fire (both Beach Body programs) and so far so good! I've lost about an inch around my waist, hips and thighs and gained about a half an inch around my biceps. Pretty good I think! More progress than I've seen all the other times I've tried to better myself through diet and exercise. 

Here's what I've learned today. Its better to determine how you are doing by measuring inches lost versus weight lost. Muscle weighs more than fat right? Right! Now while I weigh about the same as when I started this I am, in my humble opinion, slimmer.. Pants that before were snug or gave me a slight muffin top I now need a belt (or will soon) to wear.  Overall I feel better, I'm not as grumpy and I sleep better and with all the water I drink, my skin and hair has also benefited (although the hair and skin is also compliments of Biotin and coconut oil masks once a week). I also have more energy which the monsters certainly like!

after my workout tonight! I like to make funny faces

I found that during the week if I don't work out within 10 minutes of walking through the door of my house I'm mostly likely not going to so I've made it mandatory to do just that as soon as I'm home from work. I get the monsters settled with home work or dinner and I change clothes and flip on which ever work out is on the menu for that day. Sometimes the little guy will do them with me while the older one reads a book and tells me to let him know when I start doing a workout program that doesn't consist of shaking my butt.. haha.

I've decided to continue with Shakeology and will most likely try either Insanity or P90X as well as continue doing Turbo Fire into March. I'm thankful I found something that finally works for me. Its such a huge relief really and as I've said in previous blogs having an amazing group of people to kick my ass in gear if they think I'm calling it in is great!  

I will probably do another blog here in a week or so and show you what has come of the last 30 days. You all can judge for yourself how I've done. No matter if I've lost 5 lbs or 15, 2 inches or 5 by the end of it I'll just be proud that I FINISHED something I said I was going to. I hope that I inspire someone who is trying to get healthy for themselves to just do it and give it their all. I'm doing this for myself but if I inspire even one person along the way.. well that's just icing on the cake now isn't it? 

Til next time kids! ( I promise I'll have a blog up soon of some of the goodies I've recently acquired in the make up department!) 

Stretch Marks or Tiger Stripes?

There is so much pressure by the media and society for women to be perfect and it kind of pisses me off. As women we are expected to be perfect.. Perfect skin, perfect hair, perfect complexions and perfect bodies.. 

Well world, guess what? I do NOT have a perfect body. I have stretch marks on my hips and thighs from growing to fast when I was a kid and I have stretch marks from above my belly button to where the doctor cut me open to remove the monsters. For years I hated it.. Hated the way they looked and felt and I definitely did not want my significant other touching my stomach unless I was clothed. I have cellulite on the backs of my thighs and my ass has some dimples.  As I get older, I'm learning to just embrace it. I don't have 5 or 6 grand to get a tummy tuck and honestly I don't know that even if I did have the money that I would do it. 

With that said.. Here you go. Here is what my stomach looks like now. Hopefully it'll be more toned and trimmed in a month or so but for now... This is what it is. 

Yes this really is my stomach.. taken just this morning

Some women will have stomachs that are worse than this and that's ok. If your husband, boyfriend, partner whatever you want to call it is ok with you just the way you are then EMBRACE it. Sharing this with all of you is part of my acceptance of what I have. Without the monsters, who are my entire world, I wouldn't have these. The hardest thing to do, I think, is to love yourself and the body you have. 

I'll post again on Sunday or Monday with an update on my first week of Shakeology and Turbo Fire.. so until then just remember....

One Million and One

They say a journey begins with a single step. I say it starts with the decision to take that step. I've posted before about trying to lose weight and be healthy and well that attempt like all the million other times I tried failed.  So here I am trying again at one million and one. The difference between all the other times and this one is the reason for getting healthy, I'm doing it for myself. Because I want to be happy with what I see in the mirror. I want to look at a photo of myself and not pick apart everything I see. Flabby arms, soft belly, wide hips, flat pancake ass. This time I'll succeed because of the support system I have.  I'm part of an amazing group all moving towards the same goal. Some of them are farther along than others but every one of them inspires each other to keep moving forward one step at a time, one meal and one work out at a time. 

I don't know that I've actually put my weight loss and gain roller coaster out there before. A few of my close friends have seen me at my lowest weight and at my highest. My lowest was about 115 lbs and that was shortly after my oldest son was born and I separated from my husband. My highest weight was 185 lbs and stayed there for a while after the birth of my second child. I yoyo'd up and down since having my oldest.  Tried this diet and that.. Weight loss pills, atkins diet, even nothing but chicken and rice for a few months and nothing worked. The last 6 or 7  years have been the roughest.  The end of my relationship with my youngest sons dad and all the heart ache and drama that came with it. The death of my dad 8 months later. Depression, stress, work all caused me to drop weight quickly and then after life calmed down and I settled back into some semblance of routine I would gain it back and then some.. 

In 2010, stress hit again as my life was turned upside down by a personal battle that would consume the next 8 months. At the start of it I weighed about 160lbs and 4 months later I was down to 145 lbs. I ate and slept but it was not the way to lose the weight and it was definitely too fast. Life once again returned to  normal and once again the weight started to creep back up. 

So here I am again but this time I have a game plan. Today I started Shakeology and Turbo Fire. Both Beachbody programs. For the next 30 days I plan on eating as clean as I can (which can be hard with the way my schedule with the boys is) and work out every day. I have people I have to check in with every day or every other day and some to help keep me accountable and to kick my ass if I slack off. I managed to make it through my first work out without throwing up. LOL. I'm looking forward to what the next 30 days brings. Especially since I'll be 35 in 20 days.  I took before photos and will take after photos at the end of 30 days as well. Hard to believe I'm going to share these photos really. Admitting you are overweight and out of shape is hard enough without opening yourself up to criticism and possible ridicule BUT if I can inspire one person then any shit talking I get will be worth it.  

These were taken on Saturday 2/2/13. By the end I hope to have dropped 15lbs and shaved off several inches. I believe this time around I can do it. Words can't express really how grateful I am for the support and encouragement from the group I'm in. Some of them have already made some amazing transformations and I really, REALLY want to add my name to that list.

I'll check back in with an update in a few weeks. Feel free to leave your thoughts and comments both good and bad. Till next time kids!